May's Mullings

I’ve been so many places in my life and time
I’ve sung a lot of songs I’ve made some bad rhyme
I’ve acted out my love in stages
With ten thousand people watching
But we’re alone now and I’m singing this song for you

I know your image of me is what I hope to be
I’ve treated you unkindly but darlin’ can’t you see
There’s no one more important to me
Darlin’ can’t you please see through me
Cause we’re alone now and I’m singing this song for you

You taught me precious secrets of the truth witholding nothing
You came out in front and I was hiding
But now I’m so much better and if my words don’t come together
Listen to the melody cause my love is in there hiding

I you in a place where there’s no space or time
I love you for in my life you are a friend of mine
And when my life is over
Remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song for you

You taught me precious secrets of the truth witholding nothing
You came out in front and I was hiding
But now I’m so much better and if my words don’t come together
Listen to the melody cause my is in there hiding

I love you in a place where there’s no space or time
I love you for in my life you are a friend of mine
And when my life is over
Remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song for you
We were alone and I was singing this song for you

Artist: The Carpenters

This piece is by no means exhaustive — think of all that has been said about friendships – all you’ve read – all you’ve heard over the years.

But I’ve been mulling…..

Years ago, a good friend of mine told me about her various friends who had “been there for her” through the various phases of her life.  She told of one friend she “just had to talk to” when some negative thing was happening – but when that crisis passed, it was another friend who filled another need – - and so on through her life to that point.

I’ve mulled about that — and I suppose it is true. There are friends that I can confide in about certain things — and certain friends who I know will give me honest opinions about things — and others who will play “devil’s advocate” to keep me on track.  Occasionally, one friend fills more than one role — but there are many friends for many different roles.

And some friends, I find, keep silent about some obvious truths.  For instance, I saw a friend recently whom I had not visited for several, several years — 5 or 6.  This friend was kind enough not to mention my added signs of wisdom (wrinkles) or increased maturity (matronly dowdiness).  Indeed, I was gratified that these things seemed to go unnoticed!  Sigh – not all friends are so kind (blind).

But we need those moments of blindness – as well as those moments of clarity.  For me, I need friends to reinforce that I’m doing well — working well – singing well – living well.  I guess we all have our areas of insecurity and need a little bolstering.  But then, I want it to be true, too…  What good is it when there’s no truth in it?

In the end and more to the point, I like the quote by Henri Nouwen about friendship —  ”When we honestly ask ourself which person in our life means the most to us, we often find that it is the one who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, has chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

Of course, there are times in our powerlessness that we might need the advice or solutions, and we need a friend or two who will give us that, as well. The trick for the friend is to know which to give us.

Enough with the love poetry? I do love the “turn of the word” when it comes to love poetry.

So now I’ve made it past the first “anniversaries” of the year — anniversary of my divorce in January — of my mother’s birthday the middle of February — of my marriage the end of February. March marks the “anniversary” of the death of my father, April the death of my mother, and May the death of my sister. Making it past May will allow a great sigh of relief for another year.

So the love poetry has been a nice diversion. Not that it was all positive. There is something to be said for lost love, too – and young love, and unrequited love, and friend love. Although I haven’t done a full month of poetry for probably five years, and I won’t do it every year – it was fun for this year.

There is much to mull about — but not today.